I recently told somebody about how I reconstructed my belief system from the ground up after studying philosophy at college. I thought is might be interesting to somebody else, so I am including it here. Here is how I did it. I used “Meditations on First Philosophy” by Descartes as a springboard. I told him how I attempted to start “Tabla Rasa” (with a blank slate, a beginners mind) and build up from there. I can easily assume I exist, otherwise further thought is worthless. So, you start at a Solipsist. I could also derive from my thoughts and perceptions that there is an outside force interacting with me, since I don’t seem to be able to predict or fully control my thoughts. You cannot just assume there is an external concrete reality. Thus, there exists a being outside of me. I now call this one being that I know exists outside of my thoughts God. Knowing that this being exists, I know that I want to get to know him. After all, he does seem to control a lot of my thoughts and perceptions. I seem to only be in full control of a minimum of what I perceive, so this outside being must be much greater than me. So, I’m living in the moment trying to develop a relationship with this very powerful being outside of me. I can only influence things slightly, but I know he can influence them greatly. I must assume all of the wonder of nature is his creation, since I am not doing any of it. Those kinds of things can only prove that he exists and show just how powerful he is. He must be trying to communicate with me. Since he is more powerful than me, he should be the most successful in sending a message. I certainly cannot guess his language or transmit in the many ways he seems to have available. He has a greater chance of knowing my language. I spent a long time examining a lot of these candidate messages. These are the great religious works, the Koran, the Bagavad Ghita, the Rig Veda, the sayings of Budha, etc. and came to the conclusion that the Holy Bible is the message that seems to make the most sense to me. It also seems to be the message that is most prominent in my environment thoughts. So, knowing that this being transmitted this message to me is so much more powerful, I’ve got to assume his thoughts are greater than mine, and his truths are greater as well. I must assume the Bible is a true a faithful message to me until it is proven otherwise, and it never has been. I have studied the Bible and use it as the cornerstone of all other thought and action. Everthing else is built up from there. By the way, I’m still not convinced you are not a thought created by God, but when you think about it, you really are. Tee hee, wasn’t that a fun journey. I should point out that I know we cannot achieve a true “beginner’s mind”, but that was as close as I could come. I hope all that made sense. I wish I had the brains to make it clearer. I went though this thought path over 20 years ago.

Here is a recent posting I made to the costochondritis group at groups.yahoo.com.

I have costochondritis. I've only had it about 3 months. I developed costo after getting sick this winter. It usually feels like pressure in my chest and it is sore to press on. Sometimes it gets bad enough that there is a sharp pain with each breath. The pressure is about a 3 on the pain scale. The pain with each breath hits about a 5. Talking sometimes causes this type of pain as well. I have had at least one panic attack caused by this. I started feeling very dizzy and just about passed out. Every so often I'll do something (like look down and then back up) and get a severe pain spike that hits about a 9 on the pain scale. If I press with the heel of my palm on the top left of my sternum I can recreate the pain. It isn't fun at all! I think that is the shocking pain you are talking about. It feels like somebody slipped a knife into my sternum not an electrical shock. I basically can't do anything, not even think when they hit. I just freeze as still as possible and wait for it to pass. I have a funny swelling at the top of my sternum that seems like one set of ribs goes completely across my sternum. I also often get a cracking or popping around my sternum. The big pops hurt (6 or 7), but they feel like they release some of the pressure. They can easily be heard by other people in the room. I try not to pop my sternum if at all possible. I can't do any chest exercise without pain. Running is my favorite exercise. I really have to keep the speed down because of the pain. I am so glad that this group exists. It is good to know that others out there understand. I had to stop complaining to the people around me. I figured they were getting tired of hearing about it.

By the way, it seems to me that costo is related to stress. I also have very bad Premature Ventricular Contractions (PVCs, where my heart skips every other beat) at times. They also seem to be brought on by stress, spicy food, and caffeine.